


Dearest Dana

by isadub



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, s09-e06-Trust No1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isadub/pseuds/isadub
Summary: A tribute to Chris Carter's prose.All things about the email Mulder sends to Scully in Trust No1.
Relationships: msr - Relationship
Comments: 15
Kudos: 41





	Dearest Dana

Mulder is sitting in front of an isolated computer, posted in the most hidden part of a public library somewhere in an anonymous small town, westwards and far away from Scully and William. 

He’s resolved to write an email to Scully and to use a public space to do so. 

A few days ago he had some reassurance from The Gunmen that if he would apply some precise cautious measures, it would be safe and nothing wrong could happen. 

To him, and to them.

He would have to remain connected for just a couple of minutes and to write a short message. About one hundred seconds and half hundred words to convey his whole current inner state. 

An impossible task.

For weeks he’s been talking to her in his head, shaping meaningful words of love, weighing sentences with heartbreaking feelings, writing and rewriting phrases endlessly, and still, no definitive message has emerged.

How would he be able to express with mere words his loneliness and longing, his neediness and his loss, the desperation he feels each second away from her and their baby? When an intense gaze, a tight embrace, a deep kiss and gentle strokes would have been the strongest and truest means to diffuse all his heart and soul into Scully’s ones.

He has already waited too long. He needs to do it right now. 

The library is empty but he’s nervous as hell, large drops of sweat are now sliding on his face.

The most difficult part is to begin writing his message. He has to find the right way to start. 

Scully? Scully… Scully… Oh, Scully… 

The syllables are coming through his lips, a soft mutter he cannot stop and barely hears, a hypnotic mantra to conjure words. Yet, he’s unable to tape her name on the keyboard. Because nothing would correctly emphasize the six letters, because he has a million different ways to pronounce her name and the one he wants to use cannot be translated by his fingers.

Dana… Obviously, Dana. When emotions are flooding his brain, when he’s almost drowning and lacking air... Dana… 

He suddenly turns his head around as tears are blurring his sight and falling down his cheeks. He wipes them with the back of his hands and realizes that he’s facing shelves full of books, laying there peacefully only a few inches from him. 

Shakespeare. Macbeth. Macbeth’s letter to his beloved Lady Macbeth. 

“This have I thought good to deliver thee, my dearest partner of greatness.” My dearest partner.

What the hell. Scully and he both appreciate literary works and lyrical prose, and have always been prone to indulge themselves in a sophisticated style when concluding inconclusive file reports.

Quickly, he puts back his fingers on the keyboard. The words are now coming out easily, his hands dancing over the plastic keys. 

  
  


**‘E-Mail From:** Trust_No1@mail.com

**To:** Queequeg0925@hotmail.com

**Date:** 07 Jan 2002

Dearest Dana

I've resisted contacting you for reasons I know you continue to appreciate. But, to be honest, some unexpected dimensions of my new life are eating away at any resolve I have left. I'm lonely, Dana, uncertain of my ability to live like this. I want to come home. To you, and to William.’

  
  
  



End file.
